When I lay at bed at night I collect my thoughts that I want to dream about. I know this is nonsense because collectively my subconcious has already decided what to sort through from my thoughts during the day or perhaps week. But I still think of my sweetest moments before I look deep into the back of my eyelids.

I concentrate on my breath, I feel my body relax, muscle by muscle…soon enough my subconcious takes over. I’m locked in.

Recently I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with weight before I sleep. It’s almost like I feel something huge about to happen to me. Now, keep in mind I am moving across the US and yes this could be the determining factor…but  I’ve been arguing that it could be something else.

Let’s face it. Everyone thinks about dying. It’s pure human nature. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I might be dying soon. It’s very peculiar. I’m not afraid, in fact I’m intrigued by this warning feeling and I’m trying to figure out why my inner is relentlessy telling me this.

It’s strange. really.

DOINTHEDAMNTHING

Lake.Yellowstone National Park.sundown.

SPUR AT TIC

They say when you know you know. 

We have all come out here either to search or run. Frankly, I think it is an unusual but a beautiful process amongst this vast group.I consider this therapy, the best kind. Maybe we’re all the same kind of “fucked up”…

 Its only been a few weeks and I’m more comfortable in these bare white walls then I ever have been before. These woods bring out the best of characters. The most interesting, the most vibrant, the most bold.The most that are willing to live. Imagine, disconnecting from everything and everyone who you didn’t even want to look at for tiresome conversation and actually listening to your own heartbeat before you escape. Who knew it could be so fucking exhilerating. Who knew this is really what we are missing out on.

Communication amongst each other, and the ability to listen to ones self..Its slowly dispersing. Sad really because it is the entity of human life. Its what we are put here for and here it truly exists in the most promising way.

I have never felt so lucky.

This is my backyard.

My new playing ground.

Fuck Yes.

I’m very much stuck in a lucrative state, but I have the intentions of getting out soon. I can feel it in my bones. 

The quote on the right side has been my favorite since I was 12 years old. My Mom couldn’t give me an elaborate studio or expensive oils, but she did allow me to use my 4 walls as canvas. She’s going to be moving soon and my paintings are going to be covered up.My brother Ben took this photo of my room, I don’t think I will be there for the move, so it’s nice to have this picture.

“I believe life is a series of near misses. A lot of what we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It’s seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. It’s seeing what other people don’t see And pursuing that vision. “
Howard Schultz